


Maybe I'm Amazed

by NavajoLovesDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Art, Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Dean in Heat, Fluff, Knotting, M/M, Mpreg, Rimming, Smut, slick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 10:19:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14714207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavajoLovesDestiel/pseuds/NavajoLovesDestiel
Summary: Dean Winchester was not your typical omega. He was over six feet tall, muscular and he could take care of himself, thank you very much. He’d been called ‘pretty’ by more than a handful of alphas, but all they wanted was to knot an omega as big as Dean.He wasn’t impressed by any of them.Until he met Cas.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank my amazing artist, Jade Hallet, for her incredible drawing. It's on Chapter 13.  
> My partner is autistic, and Cas is based on him.  
> The title (and the ending) is inspired by an old song by Paul McCartney, Maybe I'm Amazed.

Dean Winchester was not your typical omega. He was over six feet tall, muscular and he could take care of himself, thank you very much. He’d been called ‘pretty’ by more than a handful of alphas, but all they wanted was to knot an omega as big as Dean. 

He wasn’t impressed by any of them.

He heard the bell ring in the office, so he pulled his head out from the engine he’d been working on, wiped his hands on a towel and went to see what was up.

A man was standing in the office, with his back to Dean. When Dean said, “Hey, can I help you?” the man turned around.

Dean had to catch is breath. The guy was really handsome, like  _ really _ handsome. He was an alpha and the scent of rain, berries and sandalwood assaulted Dean’s senses. Dean resisted the urge to sniff.

“Yes, hello. My car seems to be making a strange noise. I was told that you were the best when it came to older, classic cars.”

Dean grinned. “I like to think so. What kind of car do you have?” He took a step closer to the guy, just to breathe in that amazing scent.

“It’s a ‘78 continental.”

Dean grinned, resisting the need to call the guy’s car a pimpmobile to his face. “Okay, so what does this noise sound like?”

The guy tilted his head, and Dean was thinking it looked adorable, but quickly shook that thought away.

“Uh, I’m not very good with imitating noises. It was sort of a ‘ka-thunk’?”

Dean had to stifle a laugh. “Well, I’m not familiar with anything that sounds like that. Tell you what, why don’t you take me for a ride, so I can hear it myself. Hey, I’m Dean Winchester, by the way.” 

Dean held his hand out for a shake. The guy looked at Dean’s hand and seemed to hesitate. When the guy grabbed it, it feels almost electric on Dean’s hand.

“Cas. Cas Novak. I’ll take you for that ride right now.” He looked at Dean with an intensity, then looked away.

Dean yelled to Benny that he’d be right back, and followed Cas to his car. It is a horrible gold color and Dean internally flinched.

Dean got in the rider’s side while Cas walked to the driver’s side and got in. The car filled with the scent of both of them combined, and Dean sniffed deeply. 

He looked at Cas, embarrassed, but Cas wasn’t looking at him. He never said a word, just started the car and backed out.

Cas drove around the block, with Dean leaned forward in his seat and listening intently. It was definitely making a noise.

When they got back to the shop. Dean got out and turned to Cas.

“You’re going to need to leave it here. I’m not sure what’s making the noise. I’ll get into it tomorrow.”

Cas frowned. “I guess I need to find a way home. I suppose I’ll call a cab.”

Dean held up his hand. “No, don’t. I’ll drive you home.” 

_ Why the fuck had he said that? _

Cas smiled brightly. “That’s very kind of you, Dean. I hope I’m not putting  you out too much.”

Dean smiled back. “Nope. Just let me get my keys and tell Benny.”

Cas stood by his car while Dean went inside. He found Benny.

“Hey, I’m gonna give this guy a ride home. His car is out front. Gonna need to check it out tomorrow.”

Benny grinned. “You’re taking the guy home? What’s got into you, brother?”

Dean quickly said, “Nothing’s got into me. Just doing a customer a favor. Close up for me, will ya?” Benny assured him that he would. 

Dean grabbed his keys and walked back to where Cas was waiting. 

“Come on, Cas, my car’s this way.”

Cas followed him and when he saw Dean’s baby, he smiled. “Very nice car, Dean.”

Cas went up several notches in Dean’s eyes with that remark.

Dean got in and so did Cas. Again, the car filled with Cas’ scent and Dean took a sniff, just hoping Cas didn’t notice. He started the car and asked Cas where to go.

Cas took a deep breath. “I hope I’m not overstepping any boundaries, but will you go to dinner with me?”

Dean was taken aback. Cas looked at him and hurried to say, “It’s the least I can do for giving me a ride.”

All the reasons why he should say no ran through Dean’s mind. He didn’t date, he sure didn’t date alphas, he just met Cas and didn’t know a thing about him… 

But when he opened his mouth, what came out was, “Sure. I’d like that.”

Cas smiled and it seemed to light up the car.

"Where would you like to go?” Cas stared at him.

Dean thought. “Well, I’m not exactly dressed for any place fancy, so what would you say to a couple of cheeseburgers?”

“That would be acceptable.”

Dean drove to his favorite hangout. 

When they got there, Cas followed Dean inside. 

A chorus of “Dean!” filled the diner.

Cas startled. Dean was quick to say, “I eat here a lot. Sorry about that.”

Cas shook his head. “No need to apologize, it just surprised me.”

They sat in a booth. A pretty blonde beta brought them their menus.

“How have you been, Dean? And who’s your handsome friend.”

Cas blushed. Dean grinned and said, “Jo Harvelle, meet Cas Novak.”

Cas smiled.

“Isn’t he just the sweetest thing! What can I get you?”

Dean told her to bring a couple of beers, and two cheeseburgers with fries. 

When she walked away, Dean noticed that Cas was wiping each piece of silverware with his napkin. Dean watched, and when Cas was done, he carefully arranged each utensil.

“I don’t usually drink alcohol.”

“Oh! I’m sorry man, I just assumed. We can get you something else.” Dean lifted his arm to get Jo’s attention.

“No, Dean, it will be fine. Don’t bother the pretty waitress.”

Dean smiled. “Okay, Cas, if you’re sure.”

Cas smiled back and looked down at the table. “It will be fine.”

Dean asked what Cas did for a living.

Cas looked up at him briefly then back down at the table.

“I do translations of old texts and things online.”

Dean was impressed. “Wow. You must be pretty smart, Cas. How many languages do you speak?”

Cas smiled shyly. “I’m not that smart. I speak four languages fluently, but they’re mostly ancient ones.”

“I’m still impressed, Cas. I’m lucky I can speak English.”

Cas chuckled. Just then Jo came back with their beers and food. Dean grabbed his beer and took a long pull. 

Cas just sipped at his, but when he took his first bite of the burger, he made a face of pure joy.

“This is delicious!”

Dean grinned around his own bits. “Told ya. Best burgers in town.”

Cas nodded and took another bite.

 


	2. Chapter 2

They finished their meal in silence. When they were done, Dean’s beer was gone but Cas had only drank half of his.. Dean almost asked if he was going to finish it, but Cas was digging in his wallet to pay the bill.

They walked back out to Dean’s car, and got in. 

“Where to?”

Cas gave Dean his address and then sat looking out the window. The car filled with their mingled scents and Dean rolled down the window. He didn’t need any arousal to make him slick and for Cas to get the wrong idea.

When he pulled up in front of Cas’ house, Cas turned to him.

“Would you like to come in? I don’t have any beer, but I could fix us some coffee.”

Dean smiled. “Sure, I’d like that.”

Cas smiled back and they walked to the door. Cas unlocked it and they stepped inside.

When they got inside and the door was shut, Cas took off his shoes. 

“Do you mind? I just…”

Dean hurried to take off his boots. “Not a bit.” They were probably dirty and he figured Cas didn’t want his carpet messed up.

Cas waved an arm, “Go sit. I’ll start the coffee.”

Dean sat on the couch. He looked around. Everything was extremely tidy and clean. There was a bookcase where the books appeared to be put in alphabetically. 

Just then, Cas came back. He sat on the couch next to Dean.

“The coffee will be just a minute.”

Dean smiled. “No problem. You’ve got a very nice home.”

Cas looked around with almost a worried look on his face. “You really think so? It seems almost… cluttered to me.”

Dean frowned. “Cluttered? Not at all. You should see my place, now  _ that’s _ cluttered.”

Cas looked back at him, then down at his hands.

Dean thought that Cas seemed really uncomfortable and that made him a little sad.

“Look, Cas, I can go if…”

Cas interrupted him. “No! I want you to stay. Uh, may I scent your neck?”

Dean was sort of shocked. “No, Cas. I barely know you.”

Cas looked and smelled distressed. “Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. You just smell, well, interesting.”

Dean relaxed a little. “Well thanks. You do too, but no scenting. I’m not comfortable with that.”

Cas nodded, then got up. “I’ll see to the coffee.”

Dean was left sitting on the couch wondering what was up with Cas. He was odd to say the least, but Dean still sort of liked that.

Cas returned with two cups of coffee. “I didn’t know how you like it. There is cream and sugar if you want.”

Dean shook his head. “Nope, black is fine.”

The sipped their coffee. Cas sat his cup down on the coffee table and turned to look at Dean.

“Dean, I’m sorry I’m so awkward.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry for that, I think it’s kind of cute.”

Cas stared at him like he had just grown another nose.

“You do? No one ever… I’m autistic, Dean. No one thinks I’m cute.”

It all became clear to Dean. 

“Hey, no problem, Cas. And I do think you’re kinda cute, actually.”

Cas tilted his head. “Really?”

Dean felt something shift inside him. “Yeah, I do. Look, I need to go, but can I take you out? Maybe for another burger?”

Cas smiled brightly. “Yes, I’d like that, Dean.”

They exchanged phone numbers and then Cas stood watching while Dean put back on his boots. When he stood up, Cas was standing very close.

“Uh, good night, Cas. I’ll call about the dinner.”

Cas took a step back, somehow knowing he was making Dean nervous.

“That will be fine. Thank you. Good night.”

Dean left. He sat in the car, thinking about the evening.

 

When he got to work the next day, Benny was full of questions.

“I drove by your house after I closed up, and you weren’t home. Were you with that alpha?”

Dean sighed. “He took me to dinner.”

Benny got a smirk on his face. “And you went? He must be something special,  _ cher _ .”

“He just wanted to thank me for giving him a ride home. That’s all.”

Benny put up his hands. “Okay, okay. Just wondering if any hanky panky ensued.”

Dean looked at Benny. “ _ Hanky panky _ ? What are you, twelve? And no, nothing happened.”

Benny sighed dramatically. “That’s a shame, brother. You need a little hanky panky to happen from time to time.”

Dean glared at him. “For your information, he’s autistic. So he probably doesn’t even know how to get up to any hanky panky.”

Benny got serious. “That’s where you’re  wrong, Dean. I have two cousins that are autistic, and they are just as sexual as anyone else. Just because they think differently doesn’t mean they don’t feel sexual attraction and that they don’t mate. You need to do some research online.”

Dean growled at Benny to get to work and he went to look under Cas’ car to see if he could figure out what was wrong with it.

When he determined it was the catalytic converter, he went and did a parts search. It would take at least a week to get one.

While he was on the computer, and Benny was working, he did a quick search to get more information about autistic alphas. Everything Benny said was true. The only difference between an autistic alpha and one that wasn’t was their different way of thinking.

They were often perceived as odd but it said that when a person got to know one, they really weren’t that different. 

Dean sat and thought about it for a bit, then he called Cas. There was no answer, so he texted him.

**_Hey Cas. I found what was wrong with your car, and it’s gonna take more than a week to fix. I’m sorry. And about dinner, how about tomorrow night?_ **

He got an immediate response from Cas.

**_I understand Dean. And as far as dinner goes, tomorrow will be fine. What time?_ **

Dean grinned. 

**_I tried to call you about this. Anyway, how does six sound?_ **

His phone chimed right away.

**_Oh, was that you? I don’t like to talk on the phone so I don’t answer it. Six will be fine._ **

Dean chuckled. He understood not wanting to talk on the phone. There had been many times he’d been tempted to not answer his.

**_Good, Cas. It’s a date then_ **

Dean hit the send button before he could take back the word ‘date’. Was it a date? It felt like a date. 

He sighed and went back to work.

 


	3. Chapter 3

All the next day, Dean thought about where to take Cas. He knew he’d said burgers, but now he wasn’t so sure. Cas seemed like a classy guy and Dean didn’t want to look too much like he was just a grease monkey that didn’t have any class of his own.

When Benny caught him looking at restaurants on the internet, he threw an arm over Dean’s shoulders.

“Everybody likes Italian, bro. Just sayin’.”

Dean looked at the Italian restaurants and picked one out that didn’t look too fancy.

He closed a little early and went home to get ready. He showered and picked out something nice to wear. He drove to Cas’ and knocked on the door.

When Cas opened it and smiled at him, he was struck again with just how goddamn gorgeous the guy was. His chiseled jaw, that dark messy hair… and those eyes. Dean had never seen eyes that blue.

“Hello Dean. I’m ready.”

Dean led the way to the car and when they were both in, Dean turned to Cas.

“How does Italian sound? “

Cas looked confused and tilted his head. “I thought we were going for burgers again?”

Dean could smell the disappointment and distress coming off the alpha.

“No, hey… Hey Cas, we can still go for burgers. I just wasn’t sure you’d want the same thing two nights in a row. It’s fine. We’ll go for burgers.”

Cas smiled at that. “Thank you, Dean. I really enjoyed the burgers and I’m not tired of them.”

Dean felt a little twitch in his chest at the now happy scent that was rolling off Cas. He drove straight to the diner.

They walked in and thankfully, there was no yelling his name this time. They walked to a booth and sat.

Jo walked over, smiling. “Back again? And you brought the cutie with you.”

Cas blushed and looked at the table. 

Dean made a motion with his hand telling Jo in no uncertain terms to knock it off.

Jo nodded. “Same thing tonight?”

Cas looked up at her and then back down.

“I would prefer iced tea, please.”

Dean said he’d have tea too. Jo nodded and left.

“I’m sorry if she embarrassed you, Cas. She can be a real handful sometimes.”

Cas looked up. “It’s alright, Dean. I’m just not used to going out. I don’t much.”

Dean smiled at him. “Well, I’m really happy you came out with me tonight.”

Cas smiled back. “I like you, Dean. You smell wonderful. I like being with you.”

Dean took a deep breath. But then he said, “I like you too, Cas. You smell good too.”

It was the truth.

Cas blushed again. “Good. I’m glad I smell good to you too.”

Dean explained what was wrong with Cas’ car and why it would take so long to fix.

Cas nodded and asked very intelligent questions. Dean was very impressed.

The food arrived and the burgers were just as good as usual. Cas smiled all the time he ate his.

When he was done, Cas sat back with a satisfied sigh. 

Dean just had to smile at the sight. 

“So, what would you like to do now, Cas?”

Cas squinted in thought. “I think I’d like to see where you live, Dean. Would that be okay?”

Dean had a moment of insecurity thinking about how messy his place was and if that would upset Cas. But he looked at Cas’ expectant face and said, “Sure thing.”

On the way to his place, Dean tried to tell Cas that his house was kinda messy but Cas just smiled at him.

“I don’t care, Dean.” Dean could smell the happiness rolling off the alpha.

When they got there, Dean looked around and sighed. He ran ahead of Cas and pushed a pair of his underwear under the couch with his foot and began to grab up empty beer bottles. 

When he turned to take them to the kitchen, he stopped.

Cas had a look of utter joy on his face. He walked around the room.

“It smells just like you! It smells like you everywhere. Dean!”

Cas walked around, sniffing the air and smiling, completely oblivious to the clutter.

Dean felt butterflies in his stomach. He walked the empties into the kitchen and threw them away. He walked back out ot find Cas sitting on the couch, sniffing a throw pillow.

He sat down next to Cas.

“Uh, dude, you don’t have to do that. I mean, I’m right here.”

Cas looked up from the pillow. His scent was strong and Dean sniffed deeply at the joyful aroma.

“Are you saying I can scent you, Dean?”

“Yeah, I guess I am, Cas.”

Cas surged forward and Dean bent his head back to expose his throat for Cas. Cas buried his face in it and sniffed deeply, running his nose up to Dean’s ear.

When Cas pulled back, Dean smiled at him.

“My turn.”

Cas smiled brighter than Dean had ever seen him before. He threw his head back and exposed his neck. 

Dean leaned in and put his nose against Cas’ throat. He took in the aroma of rain, berries and sandalwood that Cas exuded. He took his time, savoring the scent. He felt his dick twitch and he felt a bit of slick begin.

He pulled back. Cas was looking at him expectantly.

“You… you smell awesome, Cas.”

Cas just looked so fucking happy, Dean couldn’t help himself. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Cas’.

Cas stiffened and pulled away.

“Dean… what are you doing?”

Dean was mortified. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Cas. I don’t know what came over me. I just thought…”

Cas leaned forward and kissed him. He didn’t open his mouth but he did press his lips against Dean’s firmly. Dean leaned into it and it felt amazing. 

When Cas pulled back, he was blushing. “We kissed.”

Dean laughed out loud. “Yeah, we did, Cas. I liked it. Did you like it?” Dean could tell from Cas’ scent that he had.

Cas looked away, then forced his eyes back to Dean’s.

“I did. I liked it very much.”

“Good. Maybe we should kiss again?” Dean didn’t want to rush anything, and after all, Cas was the alpha here.

Cas nodded and kissed Dean again. There still wasn’t any open mouth or tongue, but Dean didn’t care. He liked the way Cas’ lips felt on his. He liked the way Cas smelled.

It was all good.

They kissed for a few minutes, then Cas said he needed to go home. Dean nodded and drove him home. When they arrived, Cas leaned over and kissed him again, said, “I’ll text you,” and was gone.

Dean drove home feeling great.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The next day was Saturday and it was Dean’s Friday. The shop was closed on Sundays and Mondays. Dean went to work with a smile on his face, and that was immediately noticed by Benny.

“You lookin’ happy today, boss.”

Dean grinned. “I kinda am. Had another date with Cas last night.”

Benny grinned. “Hanky panky?”

Dean growled. “No! There was no hanky panky, and will you  _ please _ stop calling it that?”

Benny held up his hands in defeat. “Okay, okay. No more. But care to share what happened?”

Dean relaxed. “We just kissed. A little. We kissed a little. That’s all.”

Benny clapped a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “That’s a lot more than has happened in years.”

Dean had to admit, Benny was right. He didn’t even get with an alpha during his heats. He just suffered through. He never thought about a mate or having pups, not any of it. He always just wanted to be his own man, to prove that an omega could take care of himself.

He knew a lot of that came from his dad. His dad had never quite gotten over Dean presenting as an omega. Dean knew he’d been a big disappointment to the old man. And since he didn’t have a mom, that was all he knew. His brother was an alpha and dad had been really proud of Sam. Dean could never quite measure up.

Add to that was the fact that most alphas were just knot heads. All they wanted was to knot you and breed you and make you stay home. Raise the pups, keep the house clean, cook and show your ass when the alpha wanted to knot you. Well, Dean Winchester didn’t cook, he didn’t clean and he sure wasn’t raising his ass every time some alpha got horny.

But Cas? Cas was different. He was awkward, sure, but Dean just found that endearing. Cas was sweet and kind, intelligent and drop-dead handsome. He wasn’t pushy at all. Dean really liked the goof.

Dean worked but his mind wandered back to the kissing. It was sweet and sort of innocent. Dean kind of wanted more. He shook his head to clear it and focus on the car. But he couldn’t, so he sighed and stood up, grabbing his phone.

**_Hi. I was wondering if we could get together tonight?_ **

He waited a few minutes, and then his phone chimed.

**_Hello Dean. I would like that very much. Would you like to come to dinner at my house?_ **

Dean texted back right away.

**_I’d love to! What time and what can I bring?_ **

**_Just yourself and how does seven sound?_ **

**_It sounds perfect. I’ll be there._ **

**_:) <3_ **

Dean’s tummy did a flip. He grinned at the smiley face and the heart. 

He went back to work.

When he closed up, Benny was grinning at him.

“What?”

Benny shook his head. “Nuttin, bro. Just wondering what you’re gonna do on your days off.”

Dean grinned. “Yes, I’m seeing him again tonight.”

Benny grinned. “Y’all have fun now! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Dean looked at him. “And what would that rule out, exactly?”

Benny chuckled. “It don’t rule out nothing, that’s the point.”

When Dean got home, he stripped and got into the shower. He sighed as the hot water hit him, soothing his sore muscles. His mind wandered to Cas. Then to the kissing. His dick got hard.

He looked down at it  “Looking for some attention, huh?”

He grabbed it and began to run his fist up and down. He leaned a forearm against the tile and put his head against it. He thought about Cas and what it would be like if they…

He came suddenly. He was sort of shocked by how quickly thinking about Cas created that event. But then again, it had been awhile.

He dressed comfortably and drove to Cas. He got there a little before seven.

He knocked on the door and waited. He waited so long, he got a little worried, but then Cas opened the door.

He looked flustered. His hair was sticking up wildly and he had a distressed scent.

“Are you okay?”

Cas let him in and sighed. “The dinner is taking longer than I thought it would. I wanted it to be ready when you got here and it isn’t. I really wanted it to be ready for you. I’m sorry Dean…”

Dean grabbed Cas and hugged him. He hated that Cas was so upset by dinner.

“It’s okay, Cas. Really, it is. I don’t mind waiting to eat. Please, calm down.”

Cas relaxed against Dean and sighed. His scent changed to one of calm and happiness.

They stood there for a bit and then Cas pulled away.

“I’ll go check on everything. Thank you, Dean.”

Dean grinned. “Hey, it’s okay, man. No harm done by waiting. Just means I’ll be hungrier and eat more.”

Cas smiled and Dean followed him to the kitchen. Everything smelled wonderful.

He watched Cas stirring and checking everything, and it wasn’t that long before he had homemade lasagna and garlic bread in front of him.

“Fuck, this smells amazing Cas!”

Cas blushed. “You were going to take me to an Italian restaurant so I was fairly sure you liked it.”

“Cas, I love it.” He took a big bite and moaned, it was so good.

He was chewing his second bite when he looked at Cas. Cas was staring at him with his eyes dark. Dean could smell the scent of arousal.

Dean toned it down. He ate everything and had seconds but he didn’t make the moans anymore. Cas seemed to settle down.

When the meal was over, Dean praised Cas’ cooking and Cas blushed and said it was nothing.

“Nothing? I haven’t eaten that well in years. Thanks, Cas.”

They went and sat on the couch with coffee. Things were quiet for a minute as they both struggled for something to say.

Then Cas turned to Dean. “Can we kiss more?”

Dean was more than down for that.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Dean moved closer to Cas and took Cas’ face in his hands. They kissed, sweetly at first, but then Dean ran his tongue along the seam of Cas’ lips and Cas opened his mouth a little. Dean slid his tongue in and ran it over Cas’ tongue. 

Dean got goosebumps and Cas sighed into Dean’s mouth.

Cas put his hand on the back of Dean’s neck and ran his fingers through the short hairs at the base of his skull. Dean shifted his face and deepened the kiss.

They broke apart to breathe and the arousal scent was thick between them. Dean was slicking a little and Cas’ eyes were dark and lusty.

They kissed again and Dean laid down on his back on the couch, pulling Cas on top of him. He never thought about it, it just seemed natural. They continued to kiss and Dean could feel Cas hard dick pressed against his thigh. Dean was hard and slicking.

Cas rubbed his dick against Dean’s leg and it punched a moan out of Dean. Dean could feel how big Cas’ alpha cock was and it sent thrills running through him.

Suddenly Cas pulled away and sat up. He was panting and his hair was even wilder than before, His face was flushed.

“No, Dean. We can’t.”

Dean sat up, looking confused. “What’s wrong, Cas?”

Cas’ scent was still very aroused. But his face looked panicky. 

“I… I’m not going to take advantage of you. If we… we… did that (and here he waved his hands around) then that would be bad of me. We’ve only just met, and I don’t want you to think all I want is to… uh… to knot you. Because it isn’t! I like you, Dean, I like you a lot and you smell good and I just don’t want you to think…”

Dean grabbed him and kissed him to make him stop. When he pulled away, Cas’ scent had improved. It was no longer a sickly combination of distress and arousal.

“Cas, it’s okay. Take a breath. Everything’s okay. I’m happy you don’t just want me for sex. I respect you for that.”

Cas blinked. “You do?”

Dean smiled. “I do. Cas, you’re amazing.”

Cas tilted his head. “No one ever said that about me. Never.”

Dean leaned over and kissed Cas’ cheek. “Well then, they didn’t know you very well.”

Cas smiled and snuggled into Dean’s chest. Dean wrapped his arms around his precious alpha…

_ HIS alpha? Where had that even come from?  _

Dean took a deep breath. His senses were filled with Cas’ scent and it made him feel lightheaded for a moment. He really wanted to scent Cas’ neck.

As if Cas had heard his thoughts, he pulled away and bared his throat.

Dean never thought twice, he just ran his nose up Cas’ throat and scented him as deeply as he could.

Then Dean bared his throat to Cas and Cas scented him. Dean almost thought he heard a quiet growl come out of Cas, but he could have been mistaken.

Dean sighed and leaned into Cas. Cas wrapped him in his arms. Dean knew that for the first time since his brother had grown up and moved away, he wanted to take care of someone. He wanted to care for Cas, to make sure that nothing ever hurt him or made him sad. 

He felt panic rise from his stomach. He wasn’t that kind of omega. He wasn’t ever going to get knotted, get mated, have pups… not take care of anyone but himself.

He pulled out of Cas’ arms. Cas looked at him with concern.

“Dean? What’s the matter? Dean… talk to me.”

Dean shook his head, jumping up. “I gotta go. I gotta get out of here.”

He rushed towards the door, but Cas was up and grabbed him before he could get it open.

“Dean, you can’t leave here like this. You can’t drive when you’re so upset. Please, just tell me what’s wrong.”

Dean struggled to breathe. He almost felt like he was going to pass out. He swayed in Cas’ arms and Cas helped him to the floor, following him down. He sat in front of Dean, rubbing his hand up and down Dean’s arm.

Dean began to feel a little better. He took a few deep breaths and tried to relax.

When he was finally better, he looked at Cas. Cas looked scared.

“I’m okay now, Cas. I’m sorry. I just kind of panicked there for a minute.”

Cas nodded. “Can you tell me what caused it?”

Dean thought for a minute. 

“Okay, here it is. I took care of my baby brother because my dad was kind of a drunk. He hated that I presented as an omega and I was never good enough. When my brother grew up and left for college, and my dad died, I vowed that I was never going to get involved with an alpha. I wanted to take care of myself, prove I was as good as any alpha. I never wanted to get mated or have pups or anything like that.”

Cas nodded, looking very sad. “I understand, Dean.”

Dean shook his head. “No, you don’t. I want to be with you, Cas. I want to get mated with you, fuck I even want to have your pups. I’m in love with you. It just scares the shit out of me.”

Cas was beaming. His scent was so happy it made Dean smile.

“I feel the same way about you, Dean. I knew from that first night, when we went for hamburgers. I just never thought you’d feel the same way about me. I know I’m odd and act different than other people.”

Dean smiled. “That’s what makes you so unique, Cas. It makes you awesome. I love the way you think.”

Cas looked down and blushed. 

They sat holding hands, on the floor for how long, Dean wasn’t sure. 

Then Dean moved and said, “I think I need to go, Cas. Can we do something tomorrow?”

Cas stood up, pulling Dean up with him. 

“I’d like that, Dean. What would you like to do?”

Dean knew exactly. “I want us to spend the day together. Have breakfast and then just take it from there.”

Cas was beaming at him. “Sounds wonderful. How does a picnic in the afternoon sound?”

Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas on the forehead. “That sounds wonderful. What time should I pick you up?”

Cas tilted his head in thought. “Well, how does eight sound? I mean if we’re going to have breakfast together…”

“Sounds perfect to me. I’ll be back at eight.”

They kissed lightly and Dean went home.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Dean woke up at six when his alarm went off. He got up at this time every morning when he worked, so it wasn’t that bad. Granted, he usually slept much later on his days off, but this day was special.

He made coffee and took a shower while it brewed. Then he grabbed a cup and carried it to the bedroom to get dressed. He chose soft jeans and a henley. He wanted to look nice, but casual. He sipped his coffee and put on socks and his boots.

He finished the coffee and went to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and combed his hair, and tried to decide if he needed to shave or not. He decided not.

He took a last look at himself to assure he looked as good as possible, then walked to his car. He cranked up the classic rock station and drove to Cas’.

He got there about fifteen minutes early, so he sat in the car, singing along to a Led Zeppelin song, then got out and walked to Cas’ door.

Almost as soon as he knocked, the door flew open and he was in Cas’ arms, being kissed silly.

When they pulled back, both of them were breathless.

“I’m happy to see you, too, Cas.” 

Cas’ eyes were sparkling.

“You ready?” Dean smiled at him.

Cas nodded. 

In the car, Dean turned to Cas. “Anywhere in particular you want to go for breakfast?”

“Yes, there is. There is a little cafe on the corner of Main and Oak. I’d like to go there.”

Dean had never been there, but he was excited nonetheless. When they got there, it was just a little place. When they walked in, the aroma of fresh baked bread and coffee hit Dean.

They took a booth and a pretty beta walked up and poured them both cups of coffee. She handed them both menus and said she’d be right back to take their orders.

‘This place is wonderful, Cas. How do you know about it.?”

Cas looked wistful. “My older brother used to take me here a long time ago. It hasn’t changed a bit.”

Dean sat a moment and thought about that. “How many siblings do you have?”

Cas looked up at him. “I have four brothers, all older than I am. I am sort of the baby.”

Cas was polishing his silverware with the napkin. 

Dean felt like he should already know this stuff.

“Are you close? Do you see them often?”

Cas sat down his fork and took a sip of his coffee. 

“Not really. I haven’t seen three of them in many years. Gabriel I saw about two years ago.”

Dean felt sad for Cas. “I’m sorry you aren’t closer with them, Cas.”

Cas sighed. “I’m too odd for them, I fear. They can’t deal with my autism. I’ve grown used to it.”

Dean felt angry. “But they’re your family! They are supposed to be understanding and support you.”

Cas put his hand over Dean’s. “It’s fine, Dean. Really. I don’t fault them.”

The waitress came for their orders. When they had given her what they wanted, Dean decided to let it go for now.

They held hands while they discussed how to spend the day. Cas had a picnic basket all ready for later, but they had time before that.

Cas looked a little embarrassed, but he said, “I like the zoo.”

Dean grinned. “I do too! That’s a great idea.”

Cas beamed at him and his scent was filled with happiness.

 

They stood in front of the wolf enclosure. They were holding hands and both exuded scents of joy. They watched as a male wolf began to sniff and circle another male. When the bigger wolf mounted the younger one, and they both appeared to be enjoying it, Dean felt a jolt of arousal and he slicked.

Cas turned and stared at him. 

Dean was mortified. He mumbled, “Gotta piss,” and turned and ran to the bathroom.

Once inside, he got a bunch of paper towels and wet them. He went into a stall and yanked down his jeans and underwear. He wiped himself viciously.

He was so mad. He hated to slick at any time, unless he was in heat or pleasuring himself. He was embarrassed as hell. Lucky his underwear was only a little wet.

When he had cleaned up and gotten control, he walked out to find Cas waiting right outside the door.

Cas walked up and put his hands on Dean’s hips.

“You have no reason to be embarrassed. It’s a perfectly natural bodily function.”

Dean blushed and looked down. “I know, Cas, but I hate to lose control like that.”

Cas kissed his cheek. “I wish I could help you get over that.”

Dean sighed. “Well, good luck with that, Cas. I’m pretty damn set in my ways.”

The mood lightened and they went from enclosure to enclosure, with Cas as happy as a small child with every animal they saw.

It was getting on towards lunch time, so they decided to leave and go on their picnic. Cas had packed the basket and a big blanket in the trunk, so all they had to figure out was where to go.

Dean had an idea. He told Cas to leave it to him and drove out of town.

Dean glanced over a few times at Cas as he drove. Cas was picking at his jeans, but then he reached in his pocket and got out a fidget spinner. 

Cas began to twirl it and Dean smiled. 

Cas was occupied with his fidget spinner until Dean pulled off the main road and went down a winding dirt one. Cas looked up, then at Dean.

“Trust me Cas, I know just the spot for our picnic.” Cas nodded.

When he arrived, Dean pulled the car off the road and parked. They both got out and Dean grabbed the blanket while Cas got the basket.

Dean walked them a little ways away from the car and stopped. It was a meadow, overlooking a pond. There were flowers all around and a big tree. Dean shook out the blanket and spread it under the tree.

Cas was standing, looking around. “It’s beautiful, Dean. How do you know this spot?”

Dean took the basket from Cas and sat it on the blanket. He wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist from behind.

“We used to come here as kids. I always loved it.”

Cas turned in his arms and kissed him.

“I love it here too.”

They sat down and leaned against each other, just taking in the beauty and peace.

 


	7. Chapter 7

They ate, chatting about a variety of topics. Then Dean laid down with his head in Cas’ lap and Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair.

Dean fell asleep.

He woke to a very distressed scent and sat up to look at Cas.

Cas was looking off in the distance, wringing his hands and seemed short of breath.

“What’s wrong? Cas, talk to me!”

Cas didn’t look at him, but he started to repeat, “It’s getting dark. It’s getting dark. It’s getting dark.”

Dean grabbed him and pulled him close.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Take a breath for me.”

Cas melted into Dean’s arms and buried his face in Dean’s chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I tried, I’m sorry…”

Dean shushed him. “It’s okay, Cas. You don’t have to be sorry for anything. You should have woke me up.”

Cas mumbled into Dean’s chest, “You were sleeping so peacefully. I didn’t want to bother you.”

Dean kissed the top of Cas’ head. “You goof. I didn’t come out here with you to just sleep. I’m the one who should be sorry. Come on, let’s go home.”

Cas nodded and pulled back. “I’m a terrible alpha. I should be taking care of you, not the other way around.”

Dean chuckled. “I don’t need anyone to take care of me. And I really like taking care of you.”

Cas tilted his head. “You do?”

Dean chuckled. “Yes, I do. Now come on, let’s pack up and go home.”

Dean drove to Cas’, his hand on Cas’ thigh all the way. It had a steadying effect on the alpha.

When they got home, it was dinner time. Cas ordered a pizza and Dean picked out a movie to watch on Netflix. 

They sat on the floor in front of the TV to eat, then curled up under an afghan on the couch to watch the rest of the movie.

Dean was in heaven. Cas had his arms around him, pulled close. He could smell the satisfying scent of Cas and that soothed Dean a lot. Dean lost track of the movie and began to think about  _ this…  _ this relationship he was in with Cas.

He knew he was in love with the alpha. He was pretty sure Cas loved him too. He got to thinking about being mated with Cas, having pups with Cas, making a life with him.

This time, the idea didn’t freak him out. He didn’t feel like he’d be  _ less than _ if he had Cas as a mate. 

He turned to look at Cas. Cas was watching the movie, but he felt Dean’s eyes on him and turned to look.

“What, Dean?”

Dean said quietly, “I love you, Cas.”

Cas’ eyes got big for a moment. Then he smiled that smile that, to Dean, lit up the room.

“I love you too, Dean.”

Cas kissed Dean and then scented his throat. Dean then scented Cas’.

Dean knew it was right. “Make love to me, alpha.”

Cas’ scent took a decidedly aroused turn. “You mean it? You’re ready?”

Dean smiled. “I do, I am. I am so ready, Cas. Please, be ready too.”

Without speaking, Cas stood up and grabbed Dean’s hand. Together they walked to the bedroom.

When they got there, Cas stopped and kissed Dean with passion. Dean responded and they kissed for a couple of minutes. Then Cas pulled back and pulled Dean’s shirt off and threw it aside. Dean reached for Cas’ shirt and did the same.

They stood a moment, just taking in the revealed skin. Dean got goosebumps just looking at Cas’ chest. It was so muscular and there was a happy trail leading into his jeans. And just the hint of hip bones that looked sharp enough to cut yourself on.

“Cas, you’re so beautiful…”

Cas smiled. “I think you’re the beautiful one here, Dean.”

He reached and undid Dean’s belt. Then he popped the button on Dean’s jeans and lowered the zipper.

Dean took a deep breath when Cas slid his fingers into the waistband. This was happening. It was actually happening and Dean was a little scared.

Cas stopped and ran his hand over Dean’s side, soothing him.

“I won’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable with, Dean. Just say stop and I promise I’ll stop.”

Dean nodded. “I know, Cas, but I want this. More than I have words for.”

Cas smiled and pulled Dean’s jeans and boxers to his ankles. Dean stepped out of them and stood before Cas completely naked and completely vulnerable. He felt embarrassed under the scrutiny of Cas.

Cas just said quietly, “You are the most magnificent thing I’ve ever seen.”

Dean blushed. Cas began to strip and Dean stood where he was, watching.

When Cas was finally naked in front of him, he let his eyes drift over Cas’ body.

He thought Cas was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Cas’ stomach was almost concave, it was so flat. He had a dark happy trail that led down to the biggest cock he’d ever seen. It was long and thick and uncut. Cas’ hip bones were even sharper than Dean had imagined they were. And those thighs took his breath away.

Cas took him by the hand and led him to the bed. Dean laid down and Cas straddled his hips. He leaned over and began to kiss Dean as if he was made of glass or something else breakable. He kissed each of Dean’s eyes and then his ears. When Cas finally got to Dean’s mouth, Dean was breathless.

Cas attacked Dean’s mouth like an invading army. His tongue explored every inch of Dean’s mouth and when it ran over Dean’s tongue, Dean moaned. 

They were both hard and leaking precum, but Cas didn’t seem to be in any hurry. He worshiped Dean’s body in a way that made Dean feel precious and loved. He never expected it to be like this.

Cas seemed to want to kiss every freckle, to explore every inch of Dean. He sucked on Dean’s nipples, which Dean arched in to. He kissed his way down Dean’s body but bypassed Dean’s cock. Dean spread his legs and Cas kissed up each thigh.

Dean was slicking profusely. It was pooling under his ass and the scent of it was filling the room. Cas sniffed blatantly and Dean raised his legs.

Cas sat back and looked at Dean’s most vulnerable spot. Dean whined in anticipation.

Dean pushed Cas off him and turned over, sticking his ass in the air.

Cas took in a breath. “Dean, you don’t have to present to me…”

Dean said thickly, “Want to. Want you to fuck me, please, alpha, just fuck me.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

Cas moved closer and bent, licking the slick from Dean’s hole. Dean gasped and then pushed back against Cas’ mouth. Dean had never even imagined anyone doing that, but he loved the feeling. Cas’ tongue was wicked and Dean wanted more.

Cas continued to lick Dean’s hole and Dean was moaning and whining. He felt like he was on fire from the inside out.

Then, it stopped. Dean made a disappointed sound but Cas hushed him. Cas ran his hand over the globe of Dean’s ass in a soothing way.

Dean felt the head of Cas’ dick seeking entrance. He took a deep breath to steady himself. His hole resisted for a moment, partly due to Dean being nervous and partly due to Cas’ size.

Cas’ cock slid in past the tight ring of muscle and Dean gasped at the sheer size of it. He felt so stretched, he couldn’t believe he could take it all inside him. He wanted more but wasn’t entirely sure he could accommodate it.

Cas paused, letting Dean adjust to the feeling, then he slid in a little more. 

Suddenly, Dean wanted it all. He didn’t care how big Cas was, how much it might feel weird, he wanted it. He’d waited so long to finally give himself to an alpha, he was wild to get on with it.

“Please, Cas, need you. Need all of you. Please just move.”

Cas ran a hand over Dean’s ass. “I don’t want to hurt you, Dean.”

Dean moaned and pushed back against Cas. “I’m built for this, remember? Come on, fuck me for christ’s sake!”

He gasped when Cas slapped his ass hard.

“Language, Dean. I am not ‘fucking’ you, I am making love to you and we’ll go as slow as I decide we will.”

Dean felt a thrill run though him hearing Cas get all alpha on him. “Yes, sir.”

Cas slid in further and groaned. “You are perfect, Dean. It feels so good.”

Dean pushed back again and succeeded in getting all of Cas’ cock in him. He could feel Cas’ balls laying on his ass. It was perfect. 

Cas groaned again and grabbed Dean’s hips. He pulled back so slowly, Dean thought he’d lose his mind, but then when Cas slid back in, Dean moaned even louder. . 

“It’s… it’s so good, alpha. I never knew… “

Cas began a slow rhythm. It was both maddening and incredibly satisfying to Dean at the same time. 

Cas leaned over Dean’s back and kissed down his spine. His rhythm got faster, even though he wasn’t really thrusting into Dean all that hard.

Dean’s dick was hitting his stomach every time Cas pulled back, leaving a trail of precum on his belly.

Cas was gentle and loving and everything Dean ever dreamed of when he allowed himself to dream of being with an alpha…  _ his _ alpha.

But he needed more. 

“Please, Cas… I need…”

Cas seemed to sense what Dean was going to say, or else he he was just as needy as Dean was. Whatever the reason, he began to thrust in hard and fast. Dean let his head drop to the pillow and just held on for the ride. 

It was everything Dean had imagined and so much more. His entire existence was reduced to where they were joined. Every pull on his rim, every thrust over his prostate created a new world. It made him see stars and feel like he was being filled with electric jolts.

Dean was getting close. He could feel the heat begin in his balls, and he wanted to tell Cas that he was going to cum, but he couldn’t find the words.

He could feel Cas’ knot begin to swell, banging against his rim, and all he could think of was that he wanted it. He  _ needed  _ it.

He whispered. “Knot me. Please, I need your knot…”

_ Cas thrust back and forth a couple more times, and then he was forcing his knot into Dean and it felt too big and Dean wasn’t sure he could take it but then it was inside him and Cas was coming in him and he came so hard he saw only blackness for a minute. _

He yelled, just feeling Cas fill him with spurt after spurt of warm cum. It seemed to go on forever to Dean, and it was the most amazing thing he’d ever felt in his life. 

Cas was groaning and making sounds Dean had never heard before, but he knew he wanted to hear Cas make them a lot more.

Cas sort of collapsed over Dean, pushing him down on his stomach in a puddle of slick and cum. Cas pulled them onto their sides and out of the mess, making Dean the little spoon.

He kissed and nuzzled the back of Dean’s neck and Dean was purring. He didn’t even know he could purr but there it was, nevertheless.

Dean turned his head. “I love you. Cas. I love you so damn much and that was amazing.’

Cas smiled. “I concur on every point. Dean.”

Dean chuckled and promptly fell asleep.

He woke up a couple of hours later. Cas had an arm over Dean, hand spread tightly around his lower belly.

Cas’ knot had gone down but his cock was still half hard inside Dean. Dean moaned quietly and pushed back against it. It slid in a little more and then Cas was whispering in his ear.

“Needy? Are you needy, little omega?”

Dean nodded. “I  _ am _ your needy omega. Need you again, alpha. Please… make love to me again.”

Cas pulled Dean back even closer and began to kiss the back of his neck. Dean could smell the pleasure and arousal coming from Cas and it made him feel even needier.

Cas pulled out and flipped Dean onto his back with a growl.

“Want to see you when I make love to you.”

Dean felt it all the way to his toes. He wanted to see Cas’ face too. He spread his legs far apart and Cas slotted himself between them.

Again, Cas was all about the foreplay and taking his time. He kissed Dean all over his body. Dean was whining and wiggling, trying to get Cas to get on with it, but Cas would not be hurried.

Dean was paying better attention this time. The first time, he had been blown away and lost in his feelings, but this time, he was aware of everything. He twitched as Cas kissed him. His cock was hard and in need of attention and slick was pooling under his ass, but Dean was determined to let Cas have his way.

When Cas finally pushed his legs up, Dean lifted them high. He watched Cas’ eyes get even darker when he looked at Dean’s hole and a little whimper escaped Dean’s lips. Cas glanced up at him then back down to his leaking hole.

“My god, you are so beautiful for me like this, Dean. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Dean blushed. “Then take me, alpha.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

Cas growled and grabbed his dick. He pushed in, easier this time than the last because they had just had sex a few hours ago. 

Dean groaned and pushed against Cas. Cas slid in all the way and leaned over Dean, kissing him. He slotted his arms behind Dean’s knees and put his hands flat on the bed on either side of Dean’s head. It bent Dean in half and his ass came off the bed, which allowed Cas to go even deeper.

Dean clung to Cas, deepening the kiss. Cas still hadn’t moved yet.

Then Cas broke the kiss and pulled all the way out. He sat back on his heels and looked as he pushed in again. Dean’s eyes rolled back in his head but he quickly opened them.

Cas established a hard rhythm and Dean met every thrust with one of his own.

Every time Cas pushed into him it was like being in a lightning storm. His heart beat wildly in his ears. He looked intently in Cas’ eyes and he felt like he was having an out of body experience, but then the cock in his ass grounded him.

Then, Cas leaned over again and licked the spot where, if they mated, he would bite. Dean froze.

Cas stopped moving. He never said a word.

Dean whispered, “Cas… I’m not ready.”

Cas just nodded and resumed his push and pull.

Dean felt terrible. He didn’t understand his reluctance but it was there. He loved Cas, Cas loved him. Why did the idea of being mated suddenly fill him with so much terror?

Cas looked down at Dean with a stern expression. “You’re thinking too hard. We can discuss his later, but for now, come back to me. Just feel this.”

And with that, Cas slammed into him. Dean gasped and all thoughts were gone.

Dean knew he was going to cum shortly after that. This time, he managed to say something to Cas, and Cas smiled. 

“Come for me, my sweet boy.”

Cas’ knot was almost as big as it was going to get, and feeling it banging against his hole drove Dean over the edge. He came hard. Painting himself with his cum, he was moaning out Cas’ name over and over.

And then Cas forced his knot into Dean and Dean actually came again. 

Dean allowed himself to really  _ feel _ Cas’ knot inside him. It was huge and felt both strange and amazing. He loved the idea that they were locked together, that he was tied to Cas and couldn’t get away even if he wanted to.

Cas thrust into Dean a little more, groaning through his own orgasm as much as his knot would allow, then he rolled to the side, dragging Dean with him. They caught their breath and then Cas leaned over and kissed Dean.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I know I love you and I want to but I’m just not ready…”

Cas put his index finger to Dean’s lips.

“Shh. I understand, Dean. I can wait until you are ready.”

Dean looked away from those shining blue eyes. He didn’t deserve Cas. He had never wanted to be mated, never wanted pups. He always intended to just take care of himself.

Cas was frowning at him and he shied away from the gaze.

“Dean, you’re thinking too much. Please talk to me.”

Dean looked back at Cas. “I… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I’m broken or something. You deserve better. I’m not sure I can ever be what you want, what you deserve.

Cas surged forward, his knot tugging against Dean’s rim and making Dean gasp.

“Don’t say that! Don’t ever say that. You are the best thing in my life. You are kind and funny and smart and sexy and I love you more than I have words for. You are more than I deserve.”

Dean stared into those blue eyes and felt amazed. Cas really thought all that about him?

“I feel exactly the same way about you. I just need some time.”

Cas kissed him again, smiling. “Take all the time you need. Just don’t wait until I’m too old to make love to you anymore.”

Dean giggled. “Oh I won’t. That would be a tragedy.”

They settled down together to wait out the knot.

Dean woke up, not even aware that he had drifted off. Cas wasn’t in bed. He moved over to sniff Cas’ pillow deeply, just craving Cas’ scent. He clutched the pillow to his face, and  _ matematealphamatealpha  _ roared in his ears.

He threw the pillow down and got up to look for Cas. He pulled on his boxers. 

He found him sitting on the couch in the living room, staring at the fidget spinner in his hand.

“Cas? You okay?”

Cas startled and turned to look at Dean.

“What? Oh… yes, I’m fine. You were sleeping so soundly I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Dean walked over and sat down next to Cas. “You should have woke me up.”

Cas smiled. “Didn’t want to. Hungry?’

Dean thought for just a moment. “Starving, actually.”

Cas stood up. “I’ll fix dinner then.”

They walked to the kitchen and Dean sat down while Cas got out something to make.

“Cas, I’m sorry about the mating thing…”

Cas turned and looked at him, his face seeming to be kind of drawn. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh… okay…” Dean felt even worse than he had before. He’d obviously hurt Cas. He needed to do some serious thinking. He swallowed down his unease.

Cas fixed a delicious meal, and when they were done, they watched a movie curled up together on the couch. But Dean couldn’t help noticing that Cas’ scent wasn’t as bright as it had been. 

Guilt and confusion ate at Dean’s gut. Cas didn’t seem to notice Dean’s scent, or maybe he just didn’t care?

Dean got a little panicky and suddenly he just needed to get out of there.

“Cas,” Dean said as he pulled away, “Uh, I gotta go.” He jumped to his feet and hurried to the bedroom to dress. Cas followed behind him.

“Dean, what’s wrong?”

Dean never looked at him, he couldn’t stand to see what he’d done written all over Cas’ face.

“Nothing. I just gotta go.”

He walked briskly to the door, then turned to look at Cas. Cas looked devastated, and it hurt Dean too much to see him like that. Muttering, “I’ll call you,” he ran out the door and to his car.

He drove a block before he had to pull over because he was crying so hard, he couldn’t see the road.

He got drunk. It was what he always did when things got too rough, too real. He staggered around the apartment in his underwear. 

He passed out on the living room floor.

When he came to the next morning, he hurt all over. Groaning, he got up and went to piss and look at himself in the mirror. He looked like five miles of bad road.

He brushed his teeth to get the awful taste out, then went and made coffee. While it was brewing, he took a handful of aspirin and stood leaning against the counter and checked his phone.

There were eight text messages from Cas and two voicemails. He never looked at them.

When the coffee was done, he called his brother.

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

“Hey bitch. Long time no speak. How ya doing?”

Dean smiled. “Hey jerk. I’m okay. How are you? How’s Jess?”

That led to a bit of small talk about the shop and how Sam was doing in school.

There was a lull. Then, “Dean, you sound sad. What’s up? How are you really?”

Dean hesitated. “I’m fine, Sammy.”

“It’s Sam, and I can tell something is wrong. Just talk to me.”

Dean sighed. “It’s nothing. I kind of met someone…”

“Dean, that’s great! Is it an alpha? What’s wrong, doesn’t he feel the same as you do?”

Dean walked around the kitchen. “Yeah, he’s an alpha and he does feel the same about me. But…”

Sam waited.

“I’m just not sure, Sam. I don’t know if I even want to be in a relationship. I’m not the mating kind.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Dean. That’s crap. You know you don’t want to be alone the rest of your life. You’re too damn stubborn for your own good. If you like this alpha and he likes you, just go for it. Let yourself be happy for once.”

Dean said something, he didn’t even know what, and hung up.

He spent the rest of the day doing his usual chores, washing clothes, cleaning up a little around the apartment. He finished by ordering a pizza and sitting in front of the TV drinking. He didn’t even know for sure what he was watching. 

His thoughts were consumed by Cas. Handsome, kind, loving Cas, and how he had hurt him. He doubted Cas understood what happened and probably never wanted to see him again. 

He fell into a drunken sleep filled with dreams he couldn’t remember when his alarm went off.

When he got to work, Benny was already there.

Benny took one look at Dean and said, “Looking rough there, buddy. Alpha trouble?”

Dean just grumbled something unintelligible. 

Benny walked over to him, putting a hand on Dean’s shoulder. 

“Want to talk about it?”

“No, I fucking don’t want to talk about it!” Dean stormed out of the office, leaving behind a very bewildered Benny.

Cas texted him again a couple of times, but he still couldn’t look at them. He figured it was just Cas telling him to fuck off in so many words.

The day wore on. At quitting time, Benny approached him again.

“Listen brother, ain’t any of my business, but I think you got it bad for this guy and you need to work it out with him.”

Dean sighed. “Nope, it really isn’t any of your business. I need you to call him and tell him his car is ready to be picked up in the morning.”

Dean very purposely didn’t go in to work the next morning until he was sure Cas had already picked up his car. When he walked in, Benny grinned.

“He came and got his car, but he sure didn’t look very happy when he found out you weren’t here. He looked like shit, by the way.”

Dean winced. He shook his head at Benny and went to work on the next car. 

He tried to just not think about Cas, but he was having a hard time. As often as not, he would find himself just leaning on a fender, thinking about Cas.

As the day went on, he felt more and more restless, and kind of like he had a fever. He figured he was getting sick, so he popped a couple of aspirin and just kept working.

By the time it was closing time, Dean told Benny he didn’t think he’d be in tomorrow. 

“Not feeling that hot.”

He drove home, sweaty and sick to his stomach. He realized long about seven that he was in heat. It wasn’t time for it, but there it was, never the less. He called Benny on the phone to tell him what was happening and that he wouldn’t be in for a few days.

He cursed himself for allowing himself to be with Cas. This was why he had always avoided alphas. Maybe they scent-bonded or something. But he was miserable, and went to find his toys.

Sweaty and moaning with need, he used his biggest dildo. It had a big knot on it and it had always worked in the past. But this time, all he could think about was how it wasn’t as big as Cas was, and how plastic and foreign it felt. The knot was completely unsatisfying. 

By midnight, he was crying, it hurt so much and the toys weren’t helping at all. He’d been with a real alpha and now, the toys were just useless. He threw the dildo across the room in frustration.

He suffered and cried, rolling in his bed all night.

By seven the next morning he was done. He grabbed his phone and called Cas. Cas answered after a few rings.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas. I kind of need you. I’m having some problems.”

“I’ll be right there, Dean.”

Dean walked the floor, and it seemed to take forever. He tried to drink water but it just hurt his stomach.

At last, after what seemed like an eternity, there was a knock on his door. He rushed to open it.

Cas was standing there, with a look of concern on his face. Dean grabbed Cas by his shirt and pulled him inside, slamming the door behind them.

“Need you, alpha...:”

Cas sniffed and wrinkled his nose. “You’re in heat.”

Dean laughed ruefully. “Ya think? It’s all your damn fault. I need you so bad…”

Cas stared at him for a beat. “How is this my fault?”

“We scent-bonded or some shit. It isn’t time for my heat. But being with you brought it on. And now,” Dean waved his hands around, “my toys don’t help at all. I need your alpha knot. I need it so bad…”

Cas sat down on the couch, which infuriated Dean. 

“Come on! Help me, damn it!”

Cas said very calmly, “I want to. But you’re not in your right mind, and I don’t understand why you ran out on Saturday but you made it obvious you didn’t want to talk to me. I don’t want to take advantage of you while you’re in heat.”

Dean whirled on him. “I was stupid, okay? I’m just scared. I’m scared of how much I love you, I hate how much I need you. I never should have run from you, I should have looked at your texts. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, Cas. Forgive me…”

He wasn’t even aware that he was crying. He fell to his knees in front of Cas and put his face on Cas’ thigh, sobbing.

Cas pulled his face up to look at him.

“Dean. Dean, I love you. We can work this out.”

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

Dean lifted his head and looked at Cas. Cas put a hand on his head and he leaned into the touch. 

“I’m so sorry, Cas. Please, I need you so much.”

“Dean, are you on birth control?”

Dean jerked like Cas had hit him.

“No, No, I’m not. I never… well, I never needed to be.”

Cas frowned. “Then I need to go buy condoms.”

The thought of Cas leaving filled Dean with terror. “No! No, please, don’t leave me. You won’t come back, I know it. I don’t want you to go… please, Cas.”

Cas looked down at him with a sad expression. “Dean, I have to. Otherwise…”

Dean didn’t give a rat’s ass if he got pregnant or not at this point. He had to keep Cas here. 

He stood up. Slick had soaked through his boxers and was dripping down between his legs. He turned and stuck his ass in Cas’ face, making sure the alpha got a face full of his scent. He knew the effect it would have.

Cas growled. He grabbed Dean’s hips and shoved his face between Dean’s legs to lick slick from the inside of Dean’s thighs.

“Alpha,” Dean whined, “need you. Need your knot. Please, alpha…”

Cas grabbed Dean’s hips as he stood up. He began to shed his clothes as he drug Dean towards the bedroom.

Dean was so happy, he could have sung an aria. He was going to get Cas’ knot.

Dean pulled his boxers off, wrinkling his nose at how they stuck to his ass, and tossed them aside. He jumped on the bed, ass in the air, and presented to Cas.

Cas’ eyes glowed red for a moment. He growled louder and pulled off his boxers. He got on the bed behind Dean.

“Dean, I think this is a mistake,” is the last sensible thing either of them said for days.

Cas buried his face in Dean’s butt crack, liking and sucking, tounging up the slick that, by now, was flowing out of Dean. Dean had his face buried in a pillow, groaning and muttering curses. It felt so good, Dean needed it so much, he felt like he was losing his mind.

When Cas pushed his huge dick into Dean, Dean screamed. He was so needy, so wild with heat that he just lost all control. He pushed back against every push in, saying things like,”Come on, Cas, give it to me.” and “fuck, alpha, is that the best you can do?” He wasn’t even thinking about

anything but Cas’ cock in his ass. Finally.

This was what Dean craved, needed more than oxygen. It was like a cool drink of water in hell. It instantly soothed him, reduced the pain and heat to nothing. 

He could feel that knot, that huge knot, banging against his hole and he began to beg.

“Please, Cas, need it. Need your knot. Alpha, knot me, I need it so bad.”

Cas growled and it sent shivers down Dean’s spine. Cas grabbed his hips so tight it left bruises for days, but all Dean did was moan. 

When Cas forced his knot into Dean, Dean screamed again. He came so hard he was pretty sure he passed out for a minute. He felt Cas flood him with cum and at last, finally, he had what he needed. All the pain was gone, replaced by bliss. 

Cas rolled onto his side and pulled Dean into his chest. They lay, sweaty and panting. Cas kissed the back of Dean’s sweaty neck. Dean could feel that big knot inside him and it was all he needed.

“I love you, Dean. Please say you love me too.”

Dean turned his head. “I love you too, Cas. I’m sorry I ran out on you. Thank you for forgiving me.”

It was the last thing he said before falling into a dreamless sleep.

When he woke up, he was alone in the bed. As soon as he realized it, he sat up, terrified that Cas was gone.

“Cas! Cas…  _ Cas _ ?”

Cas walked into the room. Carrying a plate of food and a bottle of water.

“I’m right here, Dean. You need to eat something, keep up your strength. And you need to hydrate.”

Dean heaved a huge sigh of relief. “I thought you left me.”

Cas sat down the plate on the bedside table and then sat down next to Dean. He reached out a hand and caressed Dean’s face. 

“I’m not going to leave you, Dean. I will never leave you.”

Dean leaned his face into Cas’ hand. “Thank you. Thank you so much for loving me, for this, for everything. I’ll never leave you again either, Cas.”

Cas made him eat, even though he didn’t want to, and drink the entire bottle of water. Then he got into the bed and held Dean. Dean tucked his head under Cas’ chin and felt safe and loved. He couldn’t remember why he had been so scared before, so angry. This was where he belonged.

He thought about the possibility of getting pregnant and even that didn’t frighten him. He discovered that he actually wanted to give Cas a pup. He wanted it all. He never wanted to be alone again.

When the next wave hit, they made love face to face. Dean could see the love on Cas’ face. It radiated out from Cas in waves and Dean soaked it up. He let it fill him and it sought out all the dark corners of his being. It filled them with light and love and Dean felt healed. He was whole for the first time in his life. 

He knew the exact moment he was impregnated. He could feel it, feel Cas’ sperm wiggle it’s way into his egg and begin the new life within him. He welcomed the new life, embraced it with love. 

As they lay together, Dean was beaming. 

“You look very happy, Dean.”

Dean looked directly into Cas’ blue eyes. “I’m pregnant, Cas. I felt it. We’re going to have a pup.”

Cas’ eyes got big for a moment. Then he was beaming too.

“I’m not sure that can actually happen, but I’m inclined to believe you.”

Dean kissed him. “Oh it’s true. You’ll see. I’m carrying your pup. And the next time we make love, I want you to mate me.”

Cas looked at first shocked, then that look of complete love spread over his face.

 

When Cas bit him. It made him cum so hard he thought he’d died. It was so intense, so wonderful and so scary all at the same time. He was mated. He was pregnant. He was at the start of a new life. And he couldn’t have been happier.

 


	12. Chapter 12

The fact that Dean’s heat was over told Cas that Dean was right. Dean was pregnant. Cas couldn’t have been happier. 

They lay in bed, talking about Dean moving in with Cas. After all, they were mates now, bonded together for life. 

Cas wanted to care for Dean. He wanted to see Dean’s belly swell with his pup. Cas put his hand on Dean’s abdomen and left it there, as if he could feel the life inside. And maybe he could, for all Dean knew.   
Dean knew he was changed. He felt different on a fundamental level. He wasn’t angry or scared anymore. He felt kind of glowy, truth be told. Just a couple of days ago, he was sure he didn’t want any of this… being mated, being pregnant, being attached to someone else in any intimate way.

But now, it was all he wanted. He wanted Cas, he wanted to be a part of a family. He was going to make a life and a family with Cas. It was mind-blowing but it felt so right.

As they lay cuddled up, Dean sighed. “I need to work, Cas. I can’t just be a house omega, yanno?”

Cas kissed the top of his head. “I realize that. I would never force you to quit doing what you love. But you do realize, you aren’t going to be able to work on cars when you get further along? I doubt you’d be able to bend over or fit under cars.”

Dean thought about that. He’d never considered what it would be like to be huge with a pup. Cas was right. He was going to have to talk with Benny about that. Maybe they could hire another mechanic to take up the slack.

Cas got up to fix him something to eat. Cas had been making Dean eat ever since his heat ended, and he had drank enough water to last him a year. He loved that Cas was taking care of him right now. He didn’t want it to continue, but for now, it was really nice.

He grabbed his phone and called Benny. When Benny heard he would be back to work the next day, he was shocked.

“Brother, your heat is over already?”

Dean blushed, even though he knew Benny couldn’t see him.

“Yeah, it ended kind of abruptly.”

Benny gasped. “Oh  _ cher _ , you’re pregnant?”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, I am. And I’m mated, too.”

Benny roared his approval. Dean had to hold the phone away from his ear.

“Fuck, calm down!”   
Benny sounded indignant. “I will not! This is huge, brother! Does Sam know yet?”

Fuck, Dean had completely forgotten to call Sam.

“Uh, no, I gotta call him now.”

After a few more minutes of congratulations, they hung up and Dean called Sam.

“Sammy? Hey.”

“Damn it Dean, it’s still Sam. So, what do I owe the honor of you calling two times in a week?”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve got news, I guess.”

Sam waited. The silence grew, and finally, Dean cleared his throat.

“Uh, I’m kind of… mated. And pregnant.”

Sam yelled so loud, Dean had to move the phone away from his ear. Why was everyone yelling?

“That’s fantastic, Dean. Amazing. I’m so happy for you! It happened kind of quickly, I guess.”

“Yeah, it kind of did. I want you to meet Cas.”

Sam was smiling, Dean could hear it in his voice. “Of course, I want to meet him too. I’ll try to arrange some vacation time as soon as I can.”

They chatted a little longer, then hung up. Dean went to find Cas.

He found him in the kitchen. A plate of food was sitting on the table. Cas was staring out the window.

Dean walked up behind him and put his arms around Cas’ waist.

“Hey, you okay?”

Cas turned his head and looked like he wasn’t completely back yet from wherever his mind had taken him.

“What if Sam doesn’t like me?”

Dean smiled. “He’s gonna love you! Don’t you worry about Sam.”   
Cas smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I’m sure you’re right. I just… some people are very uncomfortable around me. I make them nervous.”

“That’s bull, Cas. You’re great. If people don’t like you, it’s because they have a problem. You don’t need to worry about them. And Sam is going to like you, I guarantee it.”

They ate. When they finished, Cas washed the dishes and insisted that Dean lay down.

“I’ll be in there in just a few minutes. You need your rest.”

Dean was kind of tired, so he lay on the bed, just thinking about moving and waiting for Cas. When Cas came in, he laid next to Dean and gathered Dean into his arms.

 

When Dean got to the shop the next morning, Benny was already there. He ran up to Dean and gave him a huge hug. Standing back, he looked at Dean’s mating mark, still sort of red.

“I’m so happy for you,  _ cher _ . I’m proud of you for pulling your head out of your ass and accepting some good into your life for once.”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck and looked a little sheepish. 

“Well, yeah, thanks. I, um, I just finally knew it was the right thing for me. Still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I’m pregnant, though.”

Benny laughed. “I can understand that. But you’re gonna look so sweet all big and fat and when you can’t see your dick anymore.”

Dean growled and hit Benny on the arm. “Watch your mouth, I’m still your boss.”

Benny went to work, still chuckling.

 

Dean was completely moved in in just three days. He really didn’t have much in the way of personal possessions and Cas had done most of it while Dean was at work. When Dean got home from work the first day he was moved in, he stopped at the front door and took it all in.

This was  _ home _ . He had a home. It wasn’t just him anymore. It was going to take some getting used to, but Dean was ready. This really was the first day of the rest of his life.

He shook his head and chuckled at himself for thinking of anything so lame.

Cas came out of the back and saw him.

“Dean? I didn’t hear you come in. Is everything okay?”

Dean walked to him and grabbed him in a tight hug.

“Oh yeah, baby. Everything is good. It’s so damn good.”

Cas looked a little confused but he smiled and kissed his mate. 

“I’m glad, Dean. It makes me very happy to hear that.”

 

Dean had grown accustomed to Cas just starting to talk about things that seemed odd or out of place, he knew that was just how Cas’ mind worked.

Like the time they had been watching a movie and Cas just suddenly said, “I remember when Gabriel broke his wrist. They had to put a titanium pin in it. He was in a cast for months. Titanium is a wonderful metal. It is stronger than steel but much less dense.”

Dean smiled and paused the movie. He listened to Cas talk about titanium and then veer off into mythology, because titanium had been named for the titans in Greek mythology. 

Dean loved when Cas talked about things like that. The movie could wait.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't take this amazing drawing that I had commissioned from Jade Hallet. Check out her DevientArt page!  
> https://www.deviantart.com/popular-24-hours/?section=&global=1&q=K6034

Dean was four months along and it was time for his ultrasound. Dean was really nervous but Cas was a rock. He sat by Dean and held his hand tightly. Dean took a few deep breaths and then the tech came in the room.

Dean had a little baby bump. Cas adored it and talked to it every chance he got. 

The tech pulled Dean’s gown up and pulled the sheet down to just above his cock. She squirted some jelly stuff on his belly and began to run the wand around.

Dean and Cas looked at the screen, and at first, it was all just squiggles. But then, there was the face. It was their pup, and Dean gasped. Cas squeezed his hand so tightly it hurt, but Dean didn’t even notice.

“It’s our pup…” Dean’s voice was just a whisper.

“Would you like to know what sex it is?” The tech was smiling at them.

Dean looked at Cas and Cas nodded. “Yes, we really would.”

The tech moved the wand around until she got a clear image.

“It’s a girl.”

Those three words both terrified and thrilled Dean at the same time. 

When the tech left and Dean stood up to get dressed, Cas was still a little stunned.

“I have no experience with pups at all, let alone a girl, Dean.”

Dean grinned. “Well, I have experience with pups, I did raise my brother, but I’ve never been around any girls. This is going to be weird.”

Cas agreed. It was going to be very weird.

 

Dean’s pregnancy had been uneventful so far. He had very little morning sickness and every check up was perfect so far. But as he entered his fifth month, he started having strange food cravings, and he was perpetually horny.

Cas had to frequently stop working, or get up in the middle of the night to go get Dean something he was craving and just couldn’t live without another minute. Those little forays usually ended up with them having sex. 

They had sex in every room of the house, and on practically every surface.

They learned the hard way that some places were completely unsuitable to waiting out a knot.

But now, that had to be put on hold. Sam was coming for a visit for a week.

Cas was nervous about meeting Dean’s little brother, and as much as Dean tried to reassure him, he was a mess.

Dean was relieved when Sam arrived. They gave each other the biggest hug, then broke apart. Sam stood back and smiled at Cas.

Cas walked up and held out his hand to shake Sam’s but Sam grabbed him in a rib-shattering hug. Cas was pressed to Sam’s shoulder and he looked sort of scared to Dean.

Dean put a hand on Sam’s shoulder.

“Okay, Sam, let loose of my alpha.”

Sam looked sheepish and let go of Cas. Cas took a deep breath. He took Sam’s bag and took it to the spare bedroom, while Sam stood back and looked Dean over.

“Bitch, you look good! Better than you have in years. Being mated and knocked up agrees with you.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, I guess. I’m happier than I have been since we were kids. But hey, I’m in love, jerk!”

Sam laughed. Cas came back from putting Sam’s bag in his room.

“Are you hungry, Sam? I could fix you something.”

Sam shook his head. “Truth is, I’m really beat. I think I’m gonna take a nap. Wake me up in a couple of hours, will ya?”

Dean assured him they would, and showed him his room.

As soon as he was back, he ran to Cas. 

“Cas,” he whined, “I’m so horny. Make love to me while Sam is asleep… please?”

Cas smiled at his mate. “Always needing my knot, aren’t you?”

Dean nodded his head hard. Cas chuckled and led Dean to the bedroom.

“We need to be quiet. Don’t want your brother to hear us.”

Dea nodded again, while he was taking off his clothes. He laid down on the bed and spread his legs seductively.

Cas was slower taking off his clothes, mostly because he took the time to fold his clothes. He smiled at Dean and licked his lips.

Soon enough, Dean was begging for Cas’ knot. Cas loved to tease him and make him wait but this time, he just shoved it in and they both came hard. Cas rolled them over on their sides to wait out the knot.

Just then, they heard Sam outside the door.

“Dean? Cas? Hey, where are you guys?”

Cas froze. Dean started to giggle. “Uh, we’re in here, but don’t open the door, okay?”

They heard Sam sigh dramatically. “Holy fuck, Dean. You couldn’t wait?”

Dean giggled even harder. “Nope, could not wait, bro. We’ll be out in, oh, about a half an hour. Just help yourself to anything you can find to eat and turn on the TV or something.”

They heard Sam’s footsteps receding.

Cas was mortified. “Oh my god, Dean, what must he think of me?”

Dean leaned forward and kissed him. “Hey, he’s a big boy, and I think he understands. After all, he’s about to get mated too.”

Cas was still embarrassed.

Despite that little hiccup, Cas and Sam got along famously. Sam went to work with Dean for a day to let Cas get caught up on his work, but other than that, they spent most days while Dean was at the shop just talking about anything and everything.

Dean was having to wear maternity jeans be this point, and Sam loved to kid him about it. Dean just growled and mumbled something about how he was growing a life and what the fuck was Sam doing. It made Cas laugh every time.

At the end of the week, Dean got a little teary when Sam left. He grumbled about his damn hormones as he blew his nose. Cas hugged him and made love to him so he’d feel better.

Dean was in Cas’ arms when he felt a flutter in his belly. His eyes got big and he pulled back from Cas. Cas was alarmed at Dean’s demeanor but then, Dean’s face broke out in the biggest smile Cas had ever seen. Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and put it on the top of his swollen belly.

The pup kicked. 

Cas pulled his hand back as if it was on fire, with a look that was somewhere between fear and abject joy.

Dean laughed. “Alpha, it’s your pup moving!”

Cas put his hand back and a tear ran down his cheek. 

They were both thrilled.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Dean couldn’t lean over to see the engine. He tried changing his position, tried everything he could think of, but it was no use. He was too damn big to keep working on cars. He hadn’t been able to get underneath a car for weeks, and now this.

He sat down in the office and called Benny to join him.

“Dude, it’s time to hire some help. I can’t do this anymore.”

Benny was sympathetic but amused. “Brother, you lasted longer than I thought you would. I been thinking about this for a couple of weeks, ever since you got stuck under that Chevelle.”

Dean frowned. “It wasn’t that funny, you bastard.”

Benny started to chuckle again, but one look at Dean’s face made his stop.

“I got a cousin who may be able to help out. His name is Garth, and he is pretty damn good with cars.”

Dean looked at him for a minute. “ _ Garth? _ Who the hell names their kid Garth?”

Benny shook his head. “I dunno, brother, but he still is good with cars.”

Dean sighed. “Okay, call him. I’ll give him a chance.”

Garth was a tall, skinny, gangly guy who ran up to Dean and hugged him. Dean looked over the guy’s shoulder at Benny, who just shrugged.

When Garth stepped back, Dean sat down. He went over everything that Garth would need to know, asked a few questions, and agreed that he could start the very next day.

Garth was really grateful, but Dean refused to be hugged again. He shook the guy’s hand and sat back down.

“Well, that’s that, I guess.” Dean knew he was going to hate not being able to work anymore, but it was kind of a relief, too. He got way too tired these days, and even though he did his best to hide it, he knew it was a concern for Cas.

 

They needed a name for their daughter. Many, many names had been offered and rejected. But as the time grew shorter, they finally decided on Emma Elaine. They both loved it. Emma Elaine Novak had a certain ring to it.

Cas hired men to prepare the nursery. He was all thumbs when it came to things like that, and he absolutely forbid Dean to do anything. When it was done, they stood in the doorway, Cas’ arm around Dean.

“It’s pretty perfect.” Dean walked in and turned around, looking at everything. The room was painted in a light lavender, there were flowers, cute animals and clouds painted on the walls. There was a beautiful crib, a rocking chair, changing table and a chest of drawers. There was a bookcase filled with children’s books. 

But to Dean, the best thing in the room was the mobile above the crib. It was stars and planets. It was motorized, and played a sweet tune when it was turned on. It reminded him of his mother, which was bittersweet.

 

Sex was getting problematic. Dean was so big that he couldn’t lay on his back anymore, and when he was riding Cas, he could tell that he weighed too much to keep doing that for very much longer. Sometimes, Cas looked like he couldn’t breathe. They were forced to make love with Dean on his side, and Dean didn’t really like that very much. But then again, as Cas pointed out, it was better than not having sex at all.

Emma tended to kick a lot when they were making love. It tickled both of them that she settled down when they were tied. “I think it must shlosh her around a little,” Dean said. Cas bent over and said to Dean’s belly, “Sorry, Emma.” They both laughed.

 

Dean went into labor shortly after dinner. Cas called the doctor, who said they should go to the hospital when the contractions were about ten minutes apart. Cas sat with a stopwatch, trying his best not to have a melt down. After two hours, he did anyway. Dean held him and got him breathing normally again, while Cas cried and apologized. 

Dean didn’t get to the point where he needed to go to the hospital for six more hours. It was both stressful and boring. They were both sleepy but of course, there was no sleep to be had. Hearing Dean gasp with each contraction was killing Cas. 

Finally, they went. The doctor met them there and Dean was put into a hospital gown and put in a birthing room. Cas paced the hall while they examined Dean, and ran in when they told him he could go to Dean.

The contractions were coming fast and hard at last. Dean refused any pain meds. He wanted to be completely aware of every moment, and he didn’t want anything to affect his daughter.

Sixteen hours after the first contraction, Emma was born. Both Dean and Cas cried.

When the nurse handed Emma to Cas, he just looked at her. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, except for Dean of course.

When Cas handed Dean their daughter, Dean cried harder.

“Hey there, Emma Elaine, I’m your daddy. That guy is your papa. We’re really happy to finally see you. We love you so damn much…”

 

Later, Dean lay in the bed, looking between his mate dozing in a chair and the crib that Emma was sleeping peacefully in. He thought about his life. He was amazed that so much had changed in the past year. He never thought he’d be here, where he was right now, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. He had a mate that he loved so much it made his heart hurt to think about, and who loved him that much too. He had a beautiful daughter. He was so blessed…

They had the rest of their lives ahead of them. To love, to experience, to share in every way possible. 

 

_ Baby, I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time, _

_ And maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you. _

 

_ Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out in time, _

_ You hung me on the line. _

_ Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you. _

 

_ Maybe I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man _

_ Who's in the middle of something _

_ That he doesn't really understand. _

 

_ Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song, _

_ Right me when I'm wrong- _

_ Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you _

  
  



End file.
